Friday:
The Cock & Bulls Tavern, well known as a refuge from the plague
descending upon the land. It is rumored that the combination of
strong drink and casual gaming is enough to keep the plague at bay.
Saturday:
Fighting!
Bushkazee
Immortals Melee
Thug o'da Westermark
Troll Battle
Baronial Rapier Championship
Carve the Baron's likeness in a root vegetable
Catch me if you can, the Plague game!
Saturday Night Potlock
Sunday:
Pie/Pus the Baron (a fund raiser)
Numenorian Brick Toss
Fizzball
Details:
Bushkazee
We love our sheep and defend them against all
comers. In this battle, a stuffed sheep is placed on the field. To win,
you must obtain the sheep, and run with it around two markers. When you
are killed, you must go to resurrections point (wherever the Baroness
is) and make sheep noises at her. You may be required to “baa” in a
specific manner or imitation. (“Why do I always get the sexy ones?”
complained a contestant after being required to baa like an underwear
model. An excellent opportunity to embarrass young squires is to make
them baa after the manner of their knight.)
The current sheep is one made by Lady
Alexia, a former A&S Minister for the barony.
Winning this particular battle designates you as
the Westermark Shepherd, and you are given a small stuffed sheep to care
for during the year. Many shepherds have dressed their sheep in various
costumes. It is very important not to lose the sheep.
Previous Westermark Shepherds include:
Viscount Sir Geoffrey Scott, Duchess Juana IMR, Merlin MacIntyre, Master
Mikhail Justinian, Duke Frederick of Holland, and Lord Angino di
Mercenario de Vincenzo.
Carving the Baron’s Likeness
One of the many contests at Madness is carving the
likeness of our beloved Baron using the medium of a root vegetable. The
root vegetable part may have started with Nicollo & Madalayne, but the
“carving the Baron’s likeness” idea is older than that.
FizzBall!
Fizz ball is playing a game of modified
cricket/baseball using leftover cheap beer (diet soda does not work,
although diet grapefruit soda comes close). Fizzball may have been
started by Baron Corwin, adapted from a Sam and Max Comix (mid-1980’s).
It was eventually adopted by several groups, including Westermark.
Grendal Lacktooth
Grendal Lacktooth is a specialized
cooking contest of “tasty foods that look disgusting”. This contest
pre-dates Andrew. Apparently, Grendal Lacktooth was a character in one
of Gerhart’s plays, poking fun at a peculiarly unwashed peer of the
realm. This contest fell out of favor for a few years and was
revitalized by Krysta of Starfall in the middle of Chad and Athelesias’
reign.
Immortals Melee
How to make Westermark Applesauce: take
many apples and a roll of duct tape. Tape one apple to each head (at the
very top) of at least three fighters. Back away quickly. Fighters beat
on each other until the apple is gone. It has great moments of amusement
as some fighters will duck to avoid a head-shot and the apple will fly
off, just like in children’s T-ball.
Numenorian Brick throwing
The Kingdom of Númenor
is an ancient kingdom referred to in “The Lord of the Rings” (the
books the first parties of the group that would become the SCA were
based on). The Numenorians did something very, very foolish, and this
caused humorous comments about them to be made by various Westermarkers
whenever someone did something foolish. There were Numenorian omelets;
and eventually Numenorian bricks.
David of Mecca still has the original
can of paint. Once upon a time, there was a young Westermarker named
Fred of Numenor who made the bricks and threw them. There are currently
about 6 bricks, and are often found in the early Sunday morning at
Madness in a Stonehenge-like ring on the eric.
Throwing the bricks is an actual
competition for which you are judged both on style and distance.
PPFUF
Not sung just at Madness, PPFUF is to the tune of
“The Battle Hymn of the Republic” (Folio 2). The first new verses must
have been written by The Most Excellent Master Gerhardt von Nordflammen,
as one verse of it is sung in “A California Vacuum Cleaner Salesman in
the BOG Court”.
http://www.thewestermark.org/history/Gerhardt_Folio1.pdf
and
http://www.thewestermark.org/history/Gerhardt_Folio2.pdf
Pie/Pus da Baron
Originally stared as Pie-The-Baron in the reign of
Nicollo, Andrew Blackrose, at one of the early Madnesses we had, had
three or five pies, and sold raffle-tickets. The last pie was won by
Baroness Madalayne Chevue Rouge, who turned
bright red. She bought tickets but hadn’t expected to win.
Quick-thinking Sir John Theophilous, stepped in and auctioned the pie.
It went for about ten dollars to Madalayne’s new champion.
the next year, we had Whack-a-Baron,
and again sold tickets so people could take one swing at a fully armored
Baron Nicollo. This was especially amusing because we made a
pile of money from people who
bought a lot of tickets for the Baron’s enthusiastic daughter Sara. She
had a great time. Apparently
there was also Shoot-the-Baron with Nicollo. We also had Whack-a-Baron
with Baron Chad, but as there were far fewer amateurs buying tickets
that year, it was decided that Chad could defend himself with a small
shield against those who were regular fighters.
Later, during the reign of Chad Bitor, we had
Shoot-the-Baron, where people could buy a chance to shoot the fully
armored Baron Chad. The shooting may have started because then-seneschal
Ceinwen was an archer. This was about the time Cenwein and Athelsia were
doing target archery practice at the Tuesday Mission practice.
We tried to have Shoot-the-Barons (plural) one
year, but Andrew was the only ex-baron to show up. Sir Sagan, Baron
Martin and Baron Nicollo were invited, but they all had paltry excuses
like living in Idaho.
The Marquee
The Marquee is a dramatic competition
held Saturday evening at Madness. The winners are selected by the Baron/ess,
influenced by beer and popular acclaim. The award is a wooden drama
symbol, which has been marked by each of its successive owners. The
Marquee was made by Savaric. It is the job of the Marquee holders to
return the Marquee to the next Madness, as they are responsible for
running the contest and deciding what the next theme is.
It is also traditional for the holder(s) of the Marquee to repeat
their performance at the following Madness, before handing it off to a
new winner.
Previous Marquee Holders: Mistress
Wander, The BeoCat Chick, Sir Aaron of Buckminster, Kellyn Firesinger &
Hugh Piper & David the Mad Fiddler, The Art Troll, Master Sir John
Theophilous, Juliana, Iduna & Sarah, Angino di Mercenario de Vincenzo,
and Jarad.
The Thug o’da Westermark
Once upon a time, someone said, “Our Baron does not
need a champion, he needs a thug!” The Thug tourney has been around in
various forms since the time of
Catalin di
Napoli & Ana Moonstar.
What
you must do to become the Thug has varied from tourney to tourney.
Typically it has involved a mass-weapon fight of some sort; sometimes
round robin, and sometimes a double elimination tourney.
??? To become Thug you must: fight,
dance (in armor) and game (9 men’s morris?). ????
Geoffrey Mathias says he won something
involving art/dance/heraldry/fight/game at Nicollo & Madalayne’s first
tourney, but it wasn’t the Thug or the Champion.
It may have been Athelesia Morgan who started the
tradition of the Baroness choosing the weapons for the combatants. One
memorable Madness, she had all the fighters stand in a circle, facing
outwards so they could not see each other (as for a Shaston melee). She
handed them weapons. She gave Sir (at the time, now Duke) Uther a small
dagger, and he still won.
Da Thug ub da Westermark is awarded the Thug Hat, a
small plastic Viking helmet. The Thugs typically sign the hat, and are
required to drink anything non-toxic poured into the hat. It is the job
of the Thug to return the hat to the next Madness.
Baron Corwin asked his thugs to talk to
him like cheap hoods.
Previous Thugs of the Westermark:
Brusi of the Shetlands
(check OP), Duke Sir Fabian Arnett von Schwetzingen (Madness 98),
Duke Sir Uther, Co-Thugs Krysta and Savaric, The Dancing Thug
Baron Sir John Theophilous (Madness 99), Kido (Helmut), Valgard (won for
Krysta while she was princess), Roland (Madness 01), The Singing
Co-Thugs Duke Flieg and Sir Colin Maclear (Madness ’02) Muirenn (Madness
‘03), Duke Flieg on his own (Madness ‘04), Viscount Sir Geoffrey Scott
(Madness ’05), and Sir Geoffrey Matthias.
The Thugette
The Thugette or Thug’s Consort is
awarded a belt-favor in the colors of the Westermark. It is just big
enough to carry a pack of cigarettes. Where there are co-Thugs, there
are corresponding co-Thugettes. The Thugette is a much newer tradition
than the Thug, as the Thug goes back to the mists of time and the
Thugette was began in the reign of Chad & Athelesia. It is the job of
the Thugette to return the favor to the next Madness.
As the Thug chooses the Thugette, and
could choose a new Thugette every day if desired, we have no record of
Thugettes, except for Morgan (Muirenn), Eilis (Flieg), Viscountess
Catherine of Wessex (Geoffrey Scott), and Mistress Crystal of the
Westermark (Geoffrey Matthias).
The Troll Battle
The Troll Tourney is done by teaming up
two fighters (sometimes intentionally, sometimes at the amusement of the
Baroness). They fight holding on to the same double shield, so from the
front it appears to be a two-headed, two-armed, four-legged monster.
Former tolls include: Sir Aaron of Buckminster &
Samuil, (of the Kates).
There isn’t any award associated with
the Troll, although Sir Aaron has a great deal of fun with it for
several years running.
There was one memorable troll tourney
when Baroness Athelesia Morgan teamed up Uther (very big) and Elizabeth
(very small). Elizabeth was eventually killed, but as
both heads of the troll must
be killed, she held onto the shield and was dragged around as Uther
killed nearly everyone else on the field.